Nature girl...searching for balance

The "Ban Bossy" campaign is really starting to get under my skin.

I'm not entirely sure what made me pick this particular topic to get all upset about, but I find myself not able to let it go. Why do girls have to be exempted from "bossy"?

 I feel like someone should point out the middle ground here. Some girls are bossy (so are some boys), and some boys are undermined (so are some girls)... But not all, not by a long shot!

I was labeled as bossy back in grade school, I'm naturally nosey and like to get my way. But as a kid I used temper tantrums, and manipulation, and workarounds to acheive my goals - I was "bossy" in all senses of the word, I deserved that label! The trick is for us as a society to acknowledge the truth of things and move toward change. 

As I got older I learned and internalized the old adage of "you get more flies with honey, than vinegar". I refined how I talked to people, and how I identified with them, I learned more, saw more, and realized that I wasn't the center of the world, something that many of my generation have not been able to do.

We are failing women, and men as a culture, not because we call girls bossy, or boys bullies, but because we aren't teaching them how to GROW from bossy, and bullies, into leaders (if they choose) and more importantly, self-confident adults!

Boys and girls have a similar set of problems. Instead of being encouraged to be what they are biologically designed to be, they are torn down, re-hashed, and criticized, until they are molded into what society thinks they should be! While the damage to girls is psychological, the damage to boys is of their identities. 

Throughout my life I have met incredible men and women, as varied as leaves on trees but all of them have had to overcome things that they were labeled with. ADHD, "weak", "emotional", "geek", "nerd", bossy", and even "creative"! Who would think that creative could be used as a detrimental descriptor!

My point is that we do no more damage to our girls that to our boys. Our society has twisted the perception of women into hyper sexualized power hungry creatures. Boys have been twisted to support staff or "Bad boys" (aggressive, uncaring, hyper-competitive). And the disservice to both is extreme, like the two ends of a pendulum.

In an age where defending a woman's ability to be any man's equal has become the standard, I feel as though we have forgotten the beauty of being different. The physicality of men, the softness and flexibility of women. The competitive drive of men and the grace and patience to succeed of women. The deep soul strength of women and the support of men. The way that each and every one of us was created with a foil for our personalities. We are missing out on the search for balance. 

As humans we are blessed with an incredible range of personality possibilities. I know powerhouse women, passionate, and driven and committed - And I know women who are quiet, gracious, and intuitive. There are men who are protective, staunch providers, and competitive to a fault - but I have also met men who are calm, artistic, and the very last people to get in a fight! 

We have lost our way in finding balance. Trying to force everyone to be able to do everything, or shaming them because they can't achieve societies ideal of a "whole" person is a sad reflection of our current state.

Every"one" does not have to be every"thing".

...Nature girl