I love my Dad, but it seems like Father's Day can sometimes overlook all the other men that influence us as we grow.
The glut of amazing men that I have had the privilege to meet, and have in my life, is continually astonishing to me. My Dad was the first father figure, and I'm biased because I think he's the best, but he wasn't the last by a long shot. Between my uncles, grandfather, friend's parents, authority figures, teachers, and friends I have found a whole and complete picture of Fatherhood, and it is NOTHING like the cards you get at the drug store.
For my hubby (who is facing down imminent fatherhood with a strange mixture of terror, confidence, and anticipation) I think his definition will be different, but I think when he reads this he may see at least a little commonality, and hopefully some reassurance.
Yesterday, my sister posted the following meme on Facebook (from Fathers in the Field) with the tag line of,
"And between mine [father] and my grandfather and my uncles my standards are just a bit high."
The amazing gift of fathers cannot be understated. They are the guides, teachers, confidence builders, challenge issuers, and the prison guard that EVERY child needs. It took me years (and I'm still trying to hear it) to understand what I was being taught by these men. It wasn't just how to tie boat knots (I still don't do it well), sand a rail, work a math problem, find the root of a problem, give a foot rub, kick a soccer ball, or play chess.
Little by little, I was learning that frustration doesn't get rid of the problem, patience does. Finding satisfaction in little things done well is just as important as satisfaction in big things done. Getting the RIGHT answer doesn't always give you the BEST answer. That sometimes what you see on the surface is not the real deal. I learned that tenderness isn't always a hug or a kiss, sometimes it's willingness to put your hands on tired, achy feet...even when you are tired and achy. I learned that what you put in to life is what you get out of it, good and bad. And that a long view of life gives you the best picture of the road ahead.
These men have taught me how to live a life I can be proud of and they did it, sometimes, by sheer force of will, and the examples that they were given. In a million different ways, on thousands of different days, I have been taught how to expect to be valued, and treated; as well as how to treat others. What is expected of me as a person, and as a woman. I was taught to be ethical, proud, confident, loving, forgiving (but not a push over), smart, adventurous, and flexible.
Many of these lessons overlapped with things my Mothers taught me in different ways; but my Fathers have taught against odds like frowned upon discipline, contrary attitudes, tears, tantrums, and sometimes school systems. My Fathers have been firm, loving, gentle and bullish. They have been athletic, bookish, practical and whimsical.
But ALL of them...especially mine...have been exactly what I need!
So thank God for dads, however many you have, because without them life would be far less.
...Nature girl
