Relief

Today was an awesome day!

It's strange to say that, but it is totally the case.  There have been a lot of things in my life that have been completely out of my control, up in the air stressors.  One of which is that due to some health issues, I have not been able to drive. But today that changed!  I finally got word from the DMV that I am cleared to go back to driving, and I feel so free! No matter that I still have to go and fight my way through the agony that is the DMV office - I just know that, in this regard, things may actually be looking up!

My Professor this year told us that the number one reason for depression is a perceived lack or loss of control.  I kind of brushed it off at the time because I know so many people that struggle with the chemical side of things.  But now that I have sat with the concept for a while, I can see how it would diminish a person's idea of self.

Young or old, we as people pride ourselves on the things we can do, accomplish or complete.  The ability to be self reliant, and provide for ourselves and families, and do the things we like to do.  For me, not being able to drive was severely limiting!  I never realized how much I enjoy just being impulsive in my actions. Going to the store, taking the dog for a walk somewhere different, leaving for work, meeting up with a friend for coffee, going to school etcetera, etcetera. Managing my schedule by fitting it in to everyone else's was SO stressful that if prolonged too much longer I could easily see myself getting beat down. Lucky for me, I had an extraordinary support group.

The amazing grace that I have been supplied with in the form of family and friends who were willing to let me impose on them is a bounty. Rides to work (and home), doctor appointments, out for food, out to socialize...picking me up and dropping me off has been a chore for my amazing group. I can't thank them enough for it! I realize that this is a minor thing in the grand scope, but I guess I'm a little thick and it took me loosing my freedom for me to appreciate it, and all it does to make me so happy.

I am finding that in my life appreciation for all your maybes, could be, might be, are not nearly as important as the I ams, I have, and I cans. Self awarness and growth are rough roads to travel, but the focus and clarity gained are invaluable.

Happy trails!

Nature girl