This is my first blog in a few months. A lot has been going on and for the first time I feel like writing again. Good thing...right? It seems that at the greatest times of change or strife in my life is when I feel like writing. I can't tell if it's narcissism, or an attempt at finding answers to my questions.
For my whole life I've been on the "fluffy" side which is a funny way of saying overweight. In the past few months I have slowly crept back toward the weight I was at the most unhappy point of my life, which isn't a great barometer for how happy I am, but there it is.
Most of the time I am acutely aware of how blessed I am, how well supported, and how stable my life is, but at this time, all that is a little fuzzy. I still know all these things, but it seems a little removed from me. I have decided that being "removed" from your blessings probably isn't a great way of living your life. So on that premise I have decided to make a few changes.
First, I'm starting P90X. I feel a little like that may be extreme but I figure go all in or don't, right? I'm dragging my darling hubby down this road with me, and as supportive as he is I feel he still thinks I'm a little crazy. We've never done a structured work out routine past making sure the dog gets walked, and this may be above our heads but I'm making a commitment to 3 months.
Second, I want to be healthier and will be making a few changes to my diet. But I have this relationship with sweets. I feel like if I cut them out completely...someone is going to loose a limb. So I'm realistic about the things I can do, add a salad, drop a dessert here and there, and keep a food diary (my Fitbit Zip is going to help me there).
Third, I'm committing to my blog to keep writing. It might get a little squirly, and completely unrelated to this process, but it will be about the things I love to bring me back together, and in contact with all my blessings. I think that when you focus on the good things and address the things that make you pull away from joy, you can be clear about the beneficial parts of life.
Finally, I'm going to keep tabs on the changes on my life. This seems like a strange one, but you know what the definition of insanity is right; Doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? Well I feel like I have been forcing life to conform to MY plan and just getting upset when that doesn't happen. Total surprise, right? Well if I pay attention, maybe I will solve the mystery of why my metaphorical crowbar is so worn down.
Keep up if you can, I feel like this is going to be the kind of roller coaster I hate; fast with big hills.
Nature girl
Heck yeah!
ReplyDeleteI connect with so many of the things you wrote here. Intellectually knowing your blessings and support, but feeling removed from them nonetheless; wanting to engage with some self-improvement; the struggle to be healthier (yeah, I've never been on the fluffy side, but I sure as heck could be a lot healthier).
Go for it! I'll definitely keep watching your blog, and let me know if there's anything else I can do to support you.